A Moment in Music :: ‘Break Down These Walls’ – Melanie Fiona

So listen to this song and then open up to your girl. Because she loves you.

The video and a small personal opinion when you read more.

Continue reading A Moment in Music :: ‘Break Down These Walls’ – Melanie Fiona

Music: “Somebody That I Used To Know” – Gotye ft. Kimbra

This has been on repeat for several days now. I can’t say I understand or even care for the visual to accompany this song, but geesh! This is great music. My friend and I are planning to redo the video…so stay tuned!

Kimbra has a beautiful voice.

Sidebar – How accurate and raw are the lyrics as it relates to a breakup? Shit just got real.

Don’t Leave Your Sh*t, OK?

First and foremost, my guy friends crack me up. I can say with complete confidence that I enjoy a deep laugh from a semi-barbaric situation they have encountered, at least twice a week. My most recent gut-buster included a situation where a chick left some of her belongings at my boys house. I’ve decided to share because truthfully I’d love to hear you guys thoughts on the matter.

Situation: My homeboy is in a non-committed relationship with this lady; they are not together and haven’t established boundaries or stipulations to their “friendship”. They have consistent and mostly sexual sleepovers, which for most women is the unspoken “we are exclusive”, however for most men this means nothing. Recently, this lady has started leaving small personal belongings in my homeboys bathroom, bedroom and even living room space. Now, this wouldn’t seem like a bad thing if both of them were aware that they were in a relationship. Clearly to her, they are comfortable and she is “marking her territory”. To him, the psycho b*tch has got to go; how dare she leave anything at HIS house for any of his OTHER friends to find and inquire about…

Here is where the funny part kicks in.

Continue reading Don’t Leave Your Sh*t, OK?

Miranda Brooke is a Hater

I love this song for several reasons. I don’t be liking chicks on my man. I don’t liking to share him either. I don’t like her, I’m a hater. This will probably be the only time I would proudly admit I’m in fact, a hater.

This is newcomer Miranda Brooke, signed to Island Def Jam — providing visual to her single “Hater” …and displaying how when you’re in a relationship, you tend to start drinking a little hateraide.

Spring Cleaning For Your Dating Life

Awesome article time!

I found a really interesting (read: true as hell) article about spring cleaning your dating life…

…You know what differentiates spring cleaning from regular cleaning? It feels good. It’s the time of year when we say “The status quo just isn’t working,” and we do something about it.

Let’s apply the same mentality to our dating life. While we’re cleaning out our closets and rearranging our bedrooms, let’s dump those bad dating habits that are holding us back and replace them with good ones. Today, we’ll share 6 bad habits to trash.

1. Being Too Eager

Men and women both get very confused about this one. “Aren’t I supposed to let them know I’m interested?” “Don’t women want to be pursued?” “What if they’re really the one and I let them go?”

Asking yourself if your eagerness is coming from genuine excitement or fear might be a good starting point. According to dating coach Donna Barnes of ABC’s hit series What Would You Do?, it’s an important distinction to make. “Fear is what ruins most potential relationships. Fear of abandonment, fear of commitment, fear of intimacy, rejection, etc.”

She adds, “Many people become needy and smothering when they meet someone they really like. They reveal too much too soon, expect too much too soon and get attached too quickly which causes them to ignore any problems or red flags. They stop dating anyone else and put all their attention on one person, which makes them over analyze things, usually incorrectly. Don’t let your fantasies speed up reality — keep your thoughts in the present.”

2. Online Stalking

Many sane, healthy people will not go out with a person without Googling first. For better or worse, we have come to accept this practice as normal. This doesn’t mean that we should try to find out everythingabout a person before a first meeting. Anna Goldfarb, publisher of the popular Philadelphia dating blog, Shmitten Kitten, draws the line at social networks:

“I never add a guy to my social networks too quickly. A little mystery is a good thing in the beginning. I don’t need to be all up in his tweets or anything. I’d rather he tell me about his day in person than read about it along with everyone else in his life. Sure, he can do a Google search on me and express curiosity; that’s normal. But no need to start clicking around friend requests before we’ve even exchanged phone numbers.”

Also, premature friending usually just causes unnecessary anxiety.

“Posts and pictures from attractive strangers on your new interest’s wall mostly just feed insecurities,” says Barnes. “You really shouldn’t have that kind of access to each other too quickly.”

Continue reading Spring Cleaning For Your Dating Life

Cuffin’ Season 2011

Probably the funniest thing I ever read yesterday, was a post about Cuffin’ Season (from a male perspective). For those of you who have no idea what this is (the female definition), Cuffin’ Season is the time of year where men and women decide its better to be in a semi-relationship than to be alone in the cold weather.

Interesting to me, because Cuffin’ Season holds all the major gift-giving Holiday’s – and you would think most ‘I-just-want-to-be-in-a-relationship-because-of-the-weather-not-the-person’ people wouldn’t be too enthused to make arrangements that may lead to excessive purchases (especially in this economy).

Ah Well…check out this hilarious Cuffin Season Calendar, as provided by @OlDirtyDennis

LMAO @ Marvin’s Week!!!

Read the entire post and a detailed walk-through of Cuffin’ Season, here.

Myths About What Women Want

I thought this was an interesting read. A few myths about women and relationships. I agree with most of this. Take it how you will!

Women want to talk.

It’s a known fact that women like to talk — a lot. In fact, research even points to how a woman uses 20,000 words a day compared to a man’s 7,000. Although you might think such info means women want to wrestle you into hour-long conversations, the truth is they just want you to listen to them talk. See, it’s much more important to her that you hear her out instead of warble back uninterested remarks.

Women want macho men.

When you and your woman are at a club and some random guy hits on her, you might think that she wants you to stand up to the plate and rustle the offender up a bit until you and the guy get Tasered by security. However, that just makes you look possessive and crazy, which makes her feel embarrassed. Yes, women want manly men who know their way under the hood of a car and can manage a household budget, but they aren’t impressed by a flashy show of macho behavior — so leave the bar brawls to Brody Jenner, please.

Women want to hear about your feelings.

Many women have said they want men who will open up about their feelings. So we welcomed the metrosexual trend, which was not only about men packing on the moisturizer but also about lowering the fortress on their sensitive sides. That’s fine and well, but don’t open your emotional floodgates just for the sake of it or if it’s not your style. When women whine about wanting a man who expresses his feelings, they’re really saying that they want a man who’ll talk about his thoughts and opinions. That makes her feel more included in your world and helps her get to know you. It doesn’t mean she expects any badly written poetry or crying sessions either.

Women want to be the center of your life.

Now we’re hitting a touchy topic. You know what it’s like: You start dating a girl and the next minute she’s expecting to see you all of the time, trying to control your free time and wanting to be the main player in your life. Honestly, real, confident women don’t want to be the center of your life. They are most attracted to men who already have full lives — friends, activities they love pursuing, passions, and interests. If you revolve your life around her, it can be a turn-off because then you come across as desperate or like you have no life. So, sure, go on and give her a starring role, but don’t make her the only character starring in the skit — she’ll get bored under the blinding spotlight

Women want you to ditch your female friends.

Platonic friendships outside of the relationship can be tumultuous, but your girlfriend isn’t bothered that you have female friends. Rather, she probably likes it because it shows her you’re well-balanced and know how to understand women. Not only do you have experience being there during female-related tough times and breakdowns, but if your female friends actually like you it means you know how to relate to women. This is important if you expect to have a relationship with one, you know.

Women want to be treated equally.

Your Beyonce-listening, independent girlfriend probably comes across as uber-strong, however, if you start treating her like she can fix her own kitchen sink or buy herself flowers, then you’re in trouble. See, just because she is capable of looking after herself doesn’t mean you should lose your gentlemanly ways. And yes, this holds true even if your woman is a loud and proud feminist. What women mean when they demand equal treatment is that they want you to understand they can do things on their own and they don’t need a man around. And hell, they expect you to know this. However, they never inform you of the feminist disclaimer (probably to save face). They do want to be looked after and treated with chivalry when a man comes along because it makes them feel special. They just don’t want to have to tell you.

Via Giulia Simolo

Insecurity VS. Intuition

People sometimes cannot distinguish between insecurities and intuition.

Insecurity is a feeling of general unease or nervousness that may be triggered by perceiving oneself to be unloved, inadequate or worthless (whether in a rational or an irrational manner).

A person who is insecure lacks confidence in their own value and capability, lacks trust in themselves or others, or has fears that a present positive state is temporary and will let them down and cause them loss or distress by “going wrong” in the future.

Intuition is the apparent ability to acquire knowledge without inference or the use of reason. Intuition provides us with beliefs that we cannot necessarily justify.

Intuition is a combination of historical (empirical) data, deep and heightened observation and an ability to cut through the thickness of surface reality. Intuition is like a slow motion machine that captures data instantaneously and hits you like a ton of bricks. Intuition is a knowing, a sensing that is beyond the conscious understanding — a gut feeling. Intuition is not pseudo-science.” -Abella Arthur

Enough technical stuff.

Truthfully I wrote this post because I feel like I’ve let people tell me that I am just insecure about certain things, particularly in relationships. I just don’t believe that. I am not an insecure person. I am very comfortable with myself, and I am very aware of what I have to offer someone. I come from a good family, I just graduated college, I have no enemies (I don’t think LOL), I am a very honest/loyal person/friend, I have my own worldly possessions, I am a child of God, etc.. Basically, although there is room for improvement and growth, I don’t really think that there is anything wrong with me, to a point where I need to be insecure in a relationship.

That’s where I feel like I have trouble distinguishing insecurities from intuition.

Example. I was dating a guy, and sadly things got a little strange as time progressed. I started noticing certain “things” and “behaviors” that made me a little uncomfortable with him. Of course, he assured me that I was just “being insecure”, that I had nothing to worry about, and I need to learn TRUST (LOL now that’s a word people throw around). So I did what any normal person who is interested in continuing a relationship would do, let it go. He says this, so I believe him, mainly because I WANT to.

That’s the problem. My intuition told me he wasn’t right, and what I saw didn’t correspond to what he was telling me. BUT he made me feel like I was just being insecure.

So,what happens when everything blows up in your face though? That’s what happened to me. In the long run, I wasn’t being “insecure”, I had a feeling about something, and it came true.

I say all that to say this, if you know you are a good person (inside and out), and you keep having these crazy feelings, noticing unusual things, or even something is brought to your immediate attention, be careful to know the difference between someone telling you that you’re insecure, and your intuition talking to you.

…but for really bad situations, I attribute epiphany’s that happen out of nowhere to Divine Intervention, because God doesn’t like to see his children hurt or suffering.