I am a girl.
When no one is around I wear hoop shorts and t-shirts. I play in make-up that I would never wear outside. I also dance in the mirror like a world-class choreographer. And sometimes I even cry. Not just on movies either. My feelings get hurt easy. I shut people out. I make jokes about everything because seriousness scares me.
I have issues.
I guess not serious issues. But they’re serious to me. People don’t understand that, and it really grinds my gears. You can’t discount someones feelings even if you think they’re dumb. I hate when people tell me I shouldn’t be upset about something. You aren’t me, so of course you don’t understand.
Everyday I wake up and go to work. I come home and look for other opportunities to advance my career (or get one period). I may even cook a meal (this is me saving money). I balance my checking accounts and make sure all my bills are in order. I go to networking events. I do freelance to keep my skills current (you know how people graduate from college and don’t use their degree..oh). I freelance for FREE sometimes. I’m trying.
I get frustrated.
I can’t count the number of times I just wanted to give up. I know how much of an asset I would be to someone or some company…but they don’t. I am a hard worker…but it doesn’t always pay off (when I want it too). I seem to help people who won’t help me. I can’t express how many times I’ve just been completely lost. No hope. Gotten lazy. What’s the point. But.. quitting is NEVER an option.
I don’t ask for help.
Because I can do it. Well some days I feel like I can do it. I want to be able to do it. I truly feel like whatever I put my mind to, I can get done. No matter the task. I soak up everything. Awesome listener. Awesome put-into-action-er. I’m learning that I can’t do it alone though. Life is not meant be lived alone anyway. Right?
I am thankful.
I have such an awesome support system. My mom and my aunt Jen are my biggest supporters and I’m super thankful for them. I think I would literally be a crazy person on the street if I didn’t have them in my life. My mom helps me with everything. Our bond has grown so much as I’ve gotten older. I can come to her about anything; problems, success, failures, friendships, relationship, etc. My aunt is like a second mother and best friend wrapped into one. She helps me get through the dumb shit. She is there when I just need to talk. We laugh and I love her. My cousin Jess is pretty awesome too. Her life is (what I would consider) perfect. And though she would readily tear the whole “perfect” thing to pieces, she is doing very well. She motivates me. When I feel like giving up, she is someone who helps me and tells me over and over again: I’m great. And if SHE says I’m great, I believe her.
So… I’m a girl. I have issues. I’m trying. I get frustrated. I don’t ask for help. But I am thankful…